Do Your Best John Lennon and Imagine....
Imagine you're a Tech fan, for a second. (a second is about all you can tolerate anyway.) You get up on gameday, you check the mail to see if the new BluRay edition of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" has arrived (you ordered it because it's got some awesome deleted scenes), and you practice speaking Klingon in the mirror as you shave for the fifth time in your life. You pack up your Prius with pita chips, your PS3 and a sixer of Zima (because you're rowdy like that) and head to the tailgating spot next to all the other gnats. A line of yellow-clad, half-cocked fools trickles onto Tech's campus, like a river of urine running through a trash dump. You gulp your first Zima. Whew, that goes down hard every time. You get your CD collection out, looking for "Georgia Tech's Greatest Calls: Volume 2" to blare over your Prius speakers. You gotta show them Dawgs who's boss. Alas, there is no such thing. In fact, there is no "Volume 1" either. So you settle for Katy Perry. Zima #2 goes down so smooth. The Buzz kicks in, you are feeling it, "We may beat Georgia today!" Your girlfriend arrives, with what appears to be three other females, causing a riot. Three pairs of glasses, a bottle of Alize and a TI-83 calculator are destroyed in the tickle pile.
"What are these long haired beings? Can they play World of Warcraft? What did they get in Physics?"
You give the girls your other four Zimas. You're wrecked at this point anyway. Katy is absolutely belting out a solo, the sun is rising over the "Andrei Amadeus Karalovsky Biomedical & Metaphysical Sciences Center for Abstract Research" and nobody got carjacked in your parking lot last night...life is good. The long haired beings, now determined to be "girls" after Jugdish, Mohammet and Lonnie did some research (+1 for Animal House reference), destroy the Zimas.
Wait for it....
A sea of red washes over the campus suddenly. Pickup trucks, blaring everything from Lil Wayne to Willie Nelson, take over the parking lot. They pull out this foreign substance, determined to be "beer" after, you guessed it, Jugdish, Mohammet and Lonnie analyzed it in the lab. They all appear to be having a great time, and don't appear to give a damn about Star Trek. Hillbillies. Rednecks. Thugs. That's what they are. You try to muster up a "To Hell With Georgia" but you're too worried that lifelong Dawg fan, Billy Ray "Junebug" Dawkins from Ocilla, Georgia might eat one of your Prius tires. So you just hush. You will just wait until kickoff, when the stadium is full of Tech people (all 35,000 of them) and you have some back up......oh wait......(to be continued)
The Game
So, we enter this week on a nine game win streak, to be put to the final regular season test before we meet LSU in the Dome. Standing in our way is the vaunted, high school offense-minded, top ten-turned-spoiler Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. I looked up "irrelevant" in the dictionary, and after sorting through the various meanings of the word (Big Ten football, Lane Kiffin recruiting in Tennessee and Charlie Weis's next crash diet) I found Georgia Tech. It then referred me to the definition of Georgia Tech:
Georgia Tech
\Jorj-a Tek\
Noun
1: A four year collegiate institution located in Atlanta, Georgia. Famous for engineering school, Joe Hamilton's reading prowess, a coach that looks like a character from Return of the Jedi and drinking Zima.
2: Pays rent to the President of the University of Georgia in order to remain in Georgia
3: Cannot and will not schedule Georgia Southern, for fear of the unspeakable happening, which is solidifying the fact that Georgia Tech is actually the third best football program in the state.
I sifted through more definitions, like "loser," "inadequate," and "unabashed inadequate loser" but then I got bored. We had a game to play. Plus, during a tribute to Larry Munson organized by the Tech administration, the Tech fanbase booed and showed their classless side, which is par for the course in Atlanta (along with Zima, being irrelevant, and losing)
We kickoff to them and we stop the triple option cold on the first drive. Their QB, Washington (I don't give Techmites the luxury of first names), could not hit the broad side of a Prius with the ball and Jones and Sims did not have much luck running it. Punt to Brandon Boykin, who did not call for a fair catch and was downed at the 10. Out trots our offense, and I pucker up tigher than the Tech student body in anticipation of whether the SciFi channel will indeed do a "Stargate" marathon this weekend. Murray had a terrible game last week and I hoped that it was only a blip on the radar, that he was only looking ahead and not slumping on us. The first drive started off well, with Murray hitting receivers in stride. Then, as Justin Anderson throws a look out block (that's when an O-lineman loses his man and shouts to the QB, "look out!"), Tech forces a bad throw and they intercept on their own 27. Ugh. I feel my temperature rising. We cannot lose today. I equate a loss to Tech with a root canal, drinking Pepsi or eating Huddle House on purpose and fat free cheese....pain, sacrilege and foulness all rolled into one miserable ball. A ball that is then kicked down a staircase covered in broken glass and falls into a room that has a Nickelback CD on repeat along with three rednecks talking loudly on a Nextel about sprinkler pipe. Yes.....Hell....that is what I'm talking about. Ask Jim Donnan.
Tech does nothing with the turnover. This is a pattern for them. We get the ball back and Murray marches us down the field, capping a long drive with a 15 yard touchdown to Michael "Mighty Whitey" Bennett. This guy is worth his weight in Waffle House hashbrowns (a.k.a. gold). Bennett, King, Mitchell, Conley and Brown have been phenomenal all year. After losing AJ Green, I had no aspirations for this season at wide receiver, but these guys have flat stepped up. (there's "flat" again. Tech flat sucks. See? It works.) Coach Tony Ball deserves a boatload of credit. Tech gets the ball back and organizes a drive that gets them down to our 2 yard line, with a big third down play pending. Washington gets the signal, takes the snap and attempts to bolt to his left. His left guard crashed on John Jenkins, leaving Garrison "G-Unit" Smith unblocked and G-Unit swallows him whole, causing a three yard loss. Apparently, Tech's running back was supposed to pick up Garrison but I guess he got distracted thinking about his Tourism Management final exam. Tech settled for a field goal and we are fired up. Tech plays their fight song and the capacity Tech crowd of 23,000 goes nuts. You would have thought Leonard Nimoy was signing autographs on Bobby Dodd Way. He must have been, considering the empty seats in the Tech student section.
The ball goes back to us and once again, Murray marches us right down the field. Orson Charles had a spectacular day. He pulverized Tech's linebackers and secondary all day, lending creedence to the rumor that yes, we are much, much better than Tech at every facet of the game. The drive was capped by a 14 yard corner throw to Chris "Paulding County's Finest" Conley. Laura and I go crazy. Conley is a favorite of mine, a true child of the red clay, and a Damn Good Dawg. I'm sitting in the Tech season ticket section (because God has a sense of irony) and I'm living it up. 14-3 and the Techmites are already making excuses and taking potshots. (with the exception of the Tech alums to my left and right, they were actually good people)
"Well, at least we aren't hillbillies and LSU is gonna kill you."
"Athens sucks anyway."
"If only we could recruit, have decent coaching, great athletes and attractive females..."
I smile smugly. Bring on the hate. I've learned one lesson in sports: When people stop hating you, you need to start worrying. People hated Miami in the 80's, Florida in the 90's and USC in the 00's. Why? Because they won. A lot. And they let you know it too.
Tech gets the ball and starts at the 20. Our kickoff team has improved immensely since the Vanderbilt and Florida debacles. Tech did nothing on kickoffs. They did orchestrate a good drive and scored a touchdown to narrow the lead to 14-10. Sims broke a couple of tackles and spun into the end zone, causing a Tech uproar that rivaled the day that "Magic: The Gathering" was released to the masses. This touchdown was like getting two wizards and two orcs for one dwarf and an elf on a unicorn....it's a big freakin' deal on North Avenue. My stress level increases somewhat. I hear faint Nickelback songs in my head and the telltale Nextel beeping. Somewhere, across the way, I see the imps from my days at the store, Riverdancing. We gotta win.
It's close to halftime and we drive on them again. Unfortunately, we stall out and have to settle for a field goal. Blair Walsh comes out and warms up his leg, Drew Butler gets down in his holder position. The snap is not so good and Blair kicks it wide left. I stare at the railing in front of me, as Jugdish, Mohammet and Lonnie celebrate beneath me. Somewhere, Billy Ray "Junebug" Dawkins, of Ocilla, Georgia is emptying the rest of his Wild Turkey into his Coca-Cola. He grinds his teeth. "By God, I'd be better off sitting at Willie T's Oil Change and Chicken Fried Chicken back home than watching this crap." Whoa. Wait a second. The refs convene. A discussion ensues and it appears that Paul Johnson had called a timeout prior to the snap. No kick and we reset the ball and get another chance. Have you ever seen a really angry Techmite? I have. It's quite comical, really. Lots of stomping, whining and huffing and puffing.....it sounds like a bunch of sorority chicks that were all told in unison that Daddy was indeed not getting them a 2011 Range Rover. We make the kick. I turn to the Techmite behind me and say, "Isn't that a daisy?" (+1 for Tombstone reference) He gives me a perplexed look, so I say, "Oh, sorry.....um....we just put baby in the corner?" (-1 for Dirty Dancing reference, but that's all I could muster)
Halftime was marked by three things. Number One: Tech whining. Number Two: Tech booing our band. Number Three: The announcer says that Georgia Tech has had more graduates land on the moon that any other institution. This third installment lead to massive cheers. What an accomplishment, since we've gotten so much out of landing on the moon. It's kind of like the Pet Rock of space travel, nobody can really explain its significance or importance. Once again, their irrelevance, like their hypocrisy, knows no bounds. (+1 for Tombstone reference) The booing of the band was a nice touch, I must say. But we're the rednecks, remember?
The third quarter was a picture of UGA dominance over Georgia Tech. "Motel 6" Jenkins and Garrison Smith closed off the middle. Jarvis Jones fried at least three Tech guards with his shoulder gun. Shawn Williams and Mike Gilliard had interceptions. Murray connected with Tavarres King and Aron White to make it 31-10. The O-line stymied Tech's rush and gave Murray all day to throw. Seriously, I could have listened to a live version of "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" with a guest appearance by Trey Anastasio, playing dobro, with the time Aaron had to find his receivers. Orson Charles hit their safety so hard on one play that all Frosted Oranges at the Varsity suddenly melted. Al Groh, Tech's D coordinator, needs a game ball for this one. I especially liked the six yard cushion for our tallest receivers. Pure genius. They did stop our running game, sans Crowell and Samuel, but it really did not matter. Malcolme had some decent runs but never threatened a long one. The fourth quarter was nothing more than us running out the clock and Tech plugging in their freshman quarterback...Synjyn Days. By God, that man proved two things to me on this day: 1) Tech really has nobody, I mean, they really suck; 2) You can put five consonants together and make a word. Hell, at Tech, anything's possible. Moon landings. Zima buzzes. You name it.
So, that was that. Another shellacking. Richt is 10-1 against Tech. Dooley was 19-6. Hell, Ray Goff only lost to Tech once. This is a rivalry, though...right? Yes. For one simple reason, and the only reason left that justifies me and and every other Dawg fan attending yet another waste of time at the Joke by Coke.....it's why Jim Donnan lost his job, Goff made the remark "you don't think Tech is a rival? Try losing to them." and Dooley announced on the call in show that Tech is the biggest game of the year. We share our state with them. That's it. If we lose, there's nowhere to run. 365 days of pure hell. I've been party to this abhorrence and let me tell you, young Dawgs, it is not something I hope you ever experience. It's like a year long plague....rivers run red, frogs raining down, Biblical stuff. Luckily, the way its going, you may not ever experience it.
So, it's LSU in the Dome. Good Lord. I thought we would never see this day. We will have to play flawless football to beat these guys. I don't know how it will shake out, but I am DANG proud of our guys. I don't care about the soft schedule talk, ESPN's shameless lobbying and the drivel of talking heads. They still have to play the game. In any event, I will be there. UGA 17....LSU 10 (or hope LSU gets lost on the way)
(back to our Tech friend): Imagine your a Tech fan again, sitting in your Prius, in traffic, contemplating another loss to the Dawgs. You yell out your window, "See you in basketball season!" (oh wait...) to a group of Dawgs walking down Larry Munson Boulevard. You go back to your dorm, crack open another Zima, and stare at your computer screen. You turn on more Katy Perry. Junebug Dawkins is hauling back to Ocilla, with your girlfriend. What a bad day.
At least you have the moon.
Other Highlights:
1) LSU crushed Arkansas to guarantee their spot in the SEC title game, 41-17. At the postgame handshake, Bobby Petrino expressed his displeasure with Les Miles with a four word phrase that shall not be repeated here. Here is a four word phrase for you, Bobby: "Atlanta hates your guts."
2) The NBA looks to have settled the lockout and will start on Christmas Day. Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian has locked Kris Humphries out of their house. I've locked up SEC championship tickets, nobody has locked the Heisman down and Tech might as well lock up Bobby Dodd Stadium. If I ever see Breaking Dawn again, they'll have to lock me away forever.
3) Florida and Auburn both did Larry Munson tributes at their stadiums. Although some of his greatest calls were at their expense, Gators, Tigers and the Tide paid their last respects in classy fashion. Meanwhile, Tech booes and makes fools of themselves. It must have been the Zima.
Imagine you're a Tech fan, for a second. (a second is about all you can tolerate anyway.) You get up on gameday, you check the mail to see if the new BluRay edition of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" has arrived (you ordered it because it's got some awesome deleted scenes), and you practice speaking Klingon in the mirror as you shave for the fifth time in your life. You pack up your Prius with pita chips, your PS3 and a sixer of Zima (because you're rowdy like that) and head to the tailgating spot next to all the other gnats. A line of yellow-clad, half-cocked fools trickles onto Tech's campus, like a river of urine running through a trash dump. You gulp your first Zima. Whew, that goes down hard every time. You get your CD collection out, looking for "Georgia Tech's Greatest Calls: Volume 2" to blare over your Prius speakers. You gotta show them Dawgs who's boss. Alas, there is no such thing. In fact, there is no "Volume 1" either. So you settle for Katy Perry. Zima #2 goes down so smooth. The Buzz kicks in, you are feeling it, "We may beat Georgia today!" Your girlfriend arrives, with what appears to be three other females, causing a riot. Three pairs of glasses, a bottle of Alize and a TI-83 calculator are destroyed in the tickle pile.
"What are these long haired beings? Can they play World of Warcraft? What did they get in Physics?"
You give the girls your other four Zimas. You're wrecked at this point anyway. Katy is absolutely belting out a solo, the sun is rising over the "Andrei Amadeus Karalovsky Biomedical & Metaphysical Sciences Center for Abstract Research" and nobody got carjacked in your parking lot last night...life is good. The long haired beings, now determined to be "girls" after Jugdish, Mohammet and Lonnie did some research (+1 for Animal House reference), destroy the Zimas.
Wait for it....
A sea of red washes over the campus suddenly. Pickup trucks, blaring everything from Lil Wayne to Willie Nelson, take over the parking lot. They pull out this foreign substance, determined to be "beer" after, you guessed it, Jugdish, Mohammet and Lonnie analyzed it in the lab. They all appear to be having a great time, and don't appear to give a damn about Star Trek. Hillbillies. Rednecks. Thugs. That's what they are. You try to muster up a "To Hell With Georgia" but you're too worried that lifelong Dawg fan, Billy Ray "Junebug" Dawkins from Ocilla, Georgia might eat one of your Prius tires. So you just hush. You will just wait until kickoff, when the stadium is full of Tech people (all 35,000 of them) and you have some back up......oh wait......(to be continued)
The Game
So, we enter this week on a nine game win streak, to be put to the final regular season test before we meet LSU in the Dome. Standing in our way is the vaunted, high school offense-minded, top ten-turned-spoiler Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets. I looked up "irrelevant" in the dictionary, and after sorting through the various meanings of the word (Big Ten football, Lane Kiffin recruiting in Tennessee and Charlie Weis's next crash diet) I found Georgia Tech. It then referred me to the definition of Georgia Tech:
Georgia Tech
\Jorj-a Tek\
Noun
1: A four year collegiate institution located in Atlanta, Georgia. Famous for engineering school, Joe Hamilton's reading prowess, a coach that looks like a character from Return of the Jedi and drinking Zima.
2: Pays rent to the President of the University of Georgia in order to remain in Georgia
3: Cannot and will not schedule Georgia Southern, for fear of the unspeakable happening, which is solidifying the fact that Georgia Tech is actually the third best football program in the state.
I sifted through more definitions, like "loser," "inadequate," and "unabashed inadequate loser" but then I got bored. We had a game to play. Plus, during a tribute to Larry Munson organized by the Tech administration, the Tech fanbase booed and showed their classless side, which is par for the course in Atlanta (along with Zima, being irrelevant, and losing)
We kickoff to them and we stop the triple option cold on the first drive. Their QB, Washington (I don't give Techmites the luxury of first names), could not hit the broad side of a Prius with the ball and Jones and Sims did not have much luck running it. Punt to Brandon Boykin, who did not call for a fair catch and was downed at the 10. Out trots our offense, and I pucker up tigher than the Tech student body in anticipation of whether the SciFi channel will indeed do a "Stargate" marathon this weekend. Murray had a terrible game last week and I hoped that it was only a blip on the radar, that he was only looking ahead and not slumping on us. The first drive started off well, with Murray hitting receivers in stride. Then, as Justin Anderson throws a look out block (that's when an O-lineman loses his man and shouts to the QB, "look out!"), Tech forces a bad throw and they intercept on their own 27. Ugh. I feel my temperature rising. We cannot lose today. I equate a loss to Tech with a root canal, drinking Pepsi or eating Huddle House on purpose and fat free cheese....pain, sacrilege and foulness all rolled into one miserable ball. A ball that is then kicked down a staircase covered in broken glass and falls into a room that has a Nickelback CD on repeat along with three rednecks talking loudly on a Nextel about sprinkler pipe. Yes.....Hell....that is what I'm talking about. Ask Jim Donnan.
Tech does nothing with the turnover. This is a pattern for them. We get the ball back and Murray marches us down the field, capping a long drive with a 15 yard touchdown to Michael "Mighty Whitey" Bennett. This guy is worth his weight in Waffle House hashbrowns (a.k.a. gold). Bennett, King, Mitchell, Conley and Brown have been phenomenal all year. After losing AJ Green, I had no aspirations for this season at wide receiver, but these guys have flat stepped up. (there's "flat" again. Tech flat sucks. See? It works.) Coach Tony Ball deserves a boatload of credit. Tech gets the ball back and organizes a drive that gets them down to our 2 yard line, with a big third down play pending. Washington gets the signal, takes the snap and attempts to bolt to his left. His left guard crashed on John Jenkins, leaving Garrison "G-Unit" Smith unblocked and G-Unit swallows him whole, causing a three yard loss. Apparently, Tech's running back was supposed to pick up Garrison but I guess he got distracted thinking about his Tourism Management final exam. Tech settled for a field goal and we are fired up. Tech plays their fight song and the capacity Tech crowd of 23,000 goes nuts. You would have thought Leonard Nimoy was signing autographs on Bobby Dodd Way. He must have been, considering the empty seats in the Tech student section.
The ball goes back to us and once again, Murray marches us right down the field. Orson Charles had a spectacular day. He pulverized Tech's linebackers and secondary all day, lending creedence to the rumor that yes, we are much, much better than Tech at every facet of the game. The drive was capped by a 14 yard corner throw to Chris "Paulding County's Finest" Conley. Laura and I go crazy. Conley is a favorite of mine, a true child of the red clay, and a Damn Good Dawg. I'm sitting in the Tech season ticket section (because God has a sense of irony) and I'm living it up. 14-3 and the Techmites are already making excuses and taking potshots. (with the exception of the Tech alums to my left and right, they were actually good people)
"Well, at least we aren't hillbillies and LSU is gonna kill you."
"Athens sucks anyway."
"If only we could recruit, have decent coaching, great athletes and attractive females..."
I smile smugly. Bring on the hate. I've learned one lesson in sports: When people stop hating you, you need to start worrying. People hated Miami in the 80's, Florida in the 90's and USC in the 00's. Why? Because they won. A lot. And they let you know it too.
Tech gets the ball and starts at the 20. Our kickoff team has improved immensely since the Vanderbilt and Florida debacles. Tech did nothing on kickoffs. They did orchestrate a good drive and scored a touchdown to narrow the lead to 14-10. Sims broke a couple of tackles and spun into the end zone, causing a Tech uproar that rivaled the day that "Magic: The Gathering" was released to the masses. This touchdown was like getting two wizards and two orcs for one dwarf and an elf on a unicorn....it's a big freakin' deal on North Avenue. My stress level increases somewhat. I hear faint Nickelback songs in my head and the telltale Nextel beeping. Somewhere, across the way, I see the imps from my days at the store, Riverdancing. We gotta win.
It's close to halftime and we drive on them again. Unfortunately, we stall out and have to settle for a field goal. Blair Walsh comes out and warms up his leg, Drew Butler gets down in his holder position. The snap is not so good and Blair kicks it wide left. I stare at the railing in front of me, as Jugdish, Mohammet and Lonnie celebrate beneath me. Somewhere, Billy Ray "Junebug" Dawkins, of Ocilla, Georgia is emptying the rest of his Wild Turkey into his Coca-Cola. He grinds his teeth. "By God, I'd be better off sitting at Willie T's Oil Change and Chicken Fried Chicken back home than watching this crap." Whoa. Wait a second. The refs convene. A discussion ensues and it appears that Paul Johnson had called a timeout prior to the snap. No kick and we reset the ball and get another chance. Have you ever seen a really angry Techmite? I have. It's quite comical, really. Lots of stomping, whining and huffing and puffing.....it sounds like a bunch of sorority chicks that were all told in unison that Daddy was indeed not getting them a 2011 Range Rover. We make the kick. I turn to the Techmite behind me and say, "Isn't that a daisy?" (+1 for Tombstone reference) He gives me a perplexed look, so I say, "Oh, sorry.....um....we just put baby in the corner?" (-1 for Dirty Dancing reference, but that's all I could muster)
Halftime was marked by three things. Number One: Tech whining. Number Two: Tech booing our band. Number Three: The announcer says that Georgia Tech has had more graduates land on the moon that any other institution. This third installment lead to massive cheers. What an accomplishment, since we've gotten so much out of landing on the moon. It's kind of like the Pet Rock of space travel, nobody can really explain its significance or importance. Once again, their irrelevance, like their hypocrisy, knows no bounds. (+1 for Tombstone reference) The booing of the band was a nice touch, I must say. But we're the rednecks, remember?
The third quarter was a picture of UGA dominance over Georgia Tech. "Motel 6" Jenkins and Garrison Smith closed off the middle. Jarvis Jones fried at least three Tech guards with his shoulder gun. Shawn Williams and Mike Gilliard had interceptions. Murray connected with Tavarres King and Aron White to make it 31-10. The O-line stymied Tech's rush and gave Murray all day to throw. Seriously, I could have listened to a live version of "In Memory of Elizabeth Reed" with a guest appearance by Trey Anastasio, playing dobro, with the time Aaron had to find his receivers. Orson Charles hit their safety so hard on one play that all Frosted Oranges at the Varsity suddenly melted. Al Groh, Tech's D coordinator, needs a game ball for this one. I especially liked the six yard cushion for our tallest receivers. Pure genius. They did stop our running game, sans Crowell and Samuel, but it really did not matter. Malcolme had some decent runs but never threatened a long one. The fourth quarter was nothing more than us running out the clock and Tech plugging in their freshman quarterback...Synjyn Days. By God, that man proved two things to me on this day: 1) Tech really has nobody, I mean, they really suck; 2) You can put five consonants together and make a word. Hell, at Tech, anything's possible. Moon landings. Zima buzzes. You name it.
So, that was that. Another shellacking. Richt is 10-1 against Tech. Dooley was 19-6. Hell, Ray Goff only lost to Tech once. This is a rivalry, though...right? Yes. For one simple reason, and the only reason left that justifies me and and every other Dawg fan attending yet another waste of time at the Joke by Coke.....it's why Jim Donnan lost his job, Goff made the remark "you don't think Tech is a rival? Try losing to them." and Dooley announced on the call in show that Tech is the biggest game of the year. We share our state with them. That's it. If we lose, there's nowhere to run. 365 days of pure hell. I've been party to this abhorrence and let me tell you, young Dawgs, it is not something I hope you ever experience. It's like a year long plague....rivers run red, frogs raining down, Biblical stuff. Luckily, the way its going, you may not ever experience it.
So, it's LSU in the Dome. Good Lord. I thought we would never see this day. We will have to play flawless football to beat these guys. I don't know how it will shake out, but I am DANG proud of our guys. I don't care about the soft schedule talk, ESPN's shameless lobbying and the drivel of talking heads. They still have to play the game. In any event, I will be there. UGA 17....LSU 10 (or hope LSU gets lost on the way)
(back to our Tech friend): Imagine your a Tech fan again, sitting in your Prius, in traffic, contemplating another loss to the Dawgs. You yell out your window, "See you in basketball season!" (oh wait...) to a group of Dawgs walking down Larry Munson Boulevard. You go back to your dorm, crack open another Zima, and stare at your computer screen. You turn on more Katy Perry. Junebug Dawkins is hauling back to Ocilla, with your girlfriend. What a bad day.
At least you have the moon.
Other Highlights:
1) LSU crushed Arkansas to guarantee their spot in the SEC title game, 41-17. At the postgame handshake, Bobby Petrino expressed his displeasure with Les Miles with a four word phrase that shall not be repeated here. Here is a four word phrase for you, Bobby: "Atlanta hates your guts."
2) The NBA looks to have settled the lockout and will start on Christmas Day. Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian has locked Kris Humphries out of their house. I've locked up SEC championship tickets, nobody has locked the Heisman down and Tech might as well lock up Bobby Dodd Stadium. If I ever see Breaking Dawn again, they'll have to lock me away forever.
3) Florida and Auburn both did Larry Munson tributes at their stadiums. Although some of his greatest calls were at their expense, Gators, Tigers and the Tide paid their last respects in classy fashion. Meanwhile, Tech booes and makes fools of themselves. It must have been the Zima.